spamming you with more fic now
Feb. 19th, 2011 01:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stencilledTitle: Home Run
Pairing: KoKame
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5,399
Note: dedicated to Adelawho let's me be a clingy creeper because I can. ♥♥♥ Also, this turned out heavier than I expected but it's drizzled with sap, too, so idk.
Summary: Five times Koki forgives Kame and the one time he doesn't have to.
The first time Koki forgives Kame is when they're young and Kame is still Kamenashi to him and is making everyone's life hell with his incessant nagging.
It's only been a few months since KAT-TUN's formation and Koki still hates everyone's guts. He's above being clumped together with a bunch of miscreants; he's meant for more, for bigger, better things. This group will only hold him back.
"Our timing isn't right!" Kamenashi's squeaky voice resounds in the practice room for the nth time, the panels of mirrors covering the walls reflecting his scrunched up brows and angry face back at him in multiple angles, each angle as unflattering as the next. Koki may not know on what merit Kamenashi was able to pass the auditions, but he's certain that it was not based on looks. "You guys are moving too fast. Slow down a bit."
"Why don't you pick up the pace instead?" Nakamaru says and Koki has to admit he finds the guy okay. Average at best, but okay to talk to; he has a funny looking nose but a kind face. Nakamaru's the only member who he doesn't want to knock out on a regular basis.
Kamenashi frowns harder and Koki wonders how an ugly little face like that will get the group anywhere.
"The coach told us to do it this way," Kamenashi says.
"But you're not the coach," Koki replies because he's had enough of a snotty little junior ordering him around. Judging by the scowls of the rest of the members, he suspects he's not the only one, either.
"Let's just do it the way we want, Kame. It's more fun this way," Akanishi says from his sprawl across the floor and Koki rolls his eyes because that's the very definition of Akanishi; he's a good-looking guy and has a nice voice that will take him places, but he's too stubborn for Koki's liking. Koki doesn't object to him, though, because for once he agrees. The only way KAT-TUN will get any notice is if they push against the box Kamenashi's trying to force them into.
When Taguchi voices his agreement, Kamenashi turns to Ueda for support.
"You're not our boss, Kamenashi," is what he gets instead. Koki couldn't agree more.
Kamenashi's skinny little shoulders deflate, his giant ego finally abandoning him. "I didn't say I was," he says, toeing the floor with the tip of his worn sneakers.
"Yeah, well then don't act like it," Koki snaps and Kamenashi for once has nothing to say.
The dance practice recommences, more peacefully now that Kamenashi has finally stopped trying to control all their movements. Koki sees Akanishi add in an extra hip thrust to the routine and so Koki adds in his own flourish: a backward somersault. He ends up rolling into Nakamaru and the room bursts into laughter. Even Kamenashi is heaving, trying to catch his breath as he doubles over and stomps the ground in wild kicks. He looks kind of insane.
The laughter comes to an abrupt stop when their dance instructor walks in and demands to see how their practice is coming along. A storm of verbal abbuse rains down.
"Know your place!" their instructor yells. "Don't think we can't replace you in an instant; boys like you are a dime a dozen. If you can't follow instructions then leave. Useless idiots!"
Koki curls his fists. He sees Ueda and Akanishi doing the same and he knows that one of them -himself included- is about to blow up and ruin any and all chances they have of remaining in Johnny's. He's more than surprised when it's Kamenashi who's the first to step forward.
"We were just trying to incorporate our own flavour," he says steadily. His shoulder's are slumped in submission but his face is as rebellious as Koki's own. Koki doesn't know what to think of that. All he knows is that he's grateful that it was Kamenashi who spoke up first; the kid may be annoying, but he knew how to talk.
Their instructor zones in on Kamenashi now that he's put himself in range and gives him a sound lashing, and Koki doesn't blame Kamenashi when he bows his apology and stands down.
A last stinging remark by their instructor ends their day. As Kamenashi get's his belongings together, throwing a sweat-soaked shirt onto the ratty baseball mitt he carries in his bag, Koki turns to him.
"Aren't you going to say 'I told you so'?" he asks and then grins because he wants to let Kamenashi know that he's not being an ass. Kamenashi just looks at him warily and shrugs.
Koki sighs. "I'm trying to say thanks here, idiot. It was cool, what you did back there."
"Oh," Kamenashi blinks, his face freezing for a moment before it melts into a laugh. Koki watches his eyes disappear into slits and his mouth gape as he falls into squeaky giggles.
Koki thinks he may have just realized why Kamenashi was able to pass the auditions on the first round.
-
The second time is after Kame announces his debut in Shuuji to Akira. Without KAT-TUN.
His voice is quiet and soft and he doesn't meet anyone's eyes as he tells them, just picks at hole in his designer jeans as if telling his groupmates that he's ditching them -after years of gruelling days spent together in cramped dressing rooms and fighting over stupid things like spilled cream- is a chore, a waste of time he can do without.
"So that's it?" Koki asks once he's finished. "You're just going to leave us behind like that?"
Kame doesn't look at him when he begins to answer, "It's just temporary-"
"Bullshit!" Jin hisses and Kame finally looks up, though it's not Koki he's looking at. "Don't lie to us, Kamenashi. You got what you wanted. And now we're never going to debut, are we?"
Koki doesn't know what to believe. Everything that's happening -Kame's new drama, his new single, Johnny's vague words about KAT-TUN's future- everything suggests that Kame is ditching them, shedding the group like an old skin he's grown out of and no longer fits. He's certainly come a long way from his chibi days; they all have. But Kame's transformation is the most startling and more and more people are starting to take notice.
"I didn't want this," Kame grits back, arms folded across his chest. "I told Johnny I didn't want this."
"Then why did you accept the offer?" Junno asks. He looks just as confused as Koki feels. "He couldn't have forced you to do it."
All eyes, a mixture of confusion and anger shining in each pair, turn to rest on Kame.
"He said," Kame pauses before continuing. "Johnny said that we'll be, I mean KAT-TUN will--we'll be closer to debuting after this."
All eyes blink away in betrayal.
"So, wait," Ueda snorts though there is only anger carrying his voice. "This is all for the good of the group? Try again, Kamenashi."
"What do you want me to say? I'm telling the truth," Kame says and his voice is strained. Koki sees him tighten his clutch on his arms, his entire frame wiry and tense, and wonders how Kame is holding himself together when he looks as if he's about to be torn apart from all the tension in the room. It's suffocating for Koki as it is and he's not even in the eye of the hurricane.
"You're not even going to apologise, are you?" asks Jin, his head cocked to the side and eyes surveying Kame as if evaluating him, trying to scan for any hint of regret or whatever else he wants to see. It's a useless effort, Koki thinks; Kame, at this moment, is a vault.
"I didn't do anything wrong," Kame returns steadily and a part of Koki that's been numbed from all the anger broiling inside him admires how Kame is standing strong even now, even now in the face of mutiny. The stubborn little rebel is still in him.
Koki's not in the mood to deal with him now.
And apparently neither is Jin. With a loud crash, Jin topples a nearby chair over with an angry kick and storms out of the room, taking a good chunk of the tension with him. But even with Jin gone, the room still crackles with accusations and hurt feelings, the crash of the chair against the floor still echoing in the air, signalling the fall of something else.
"I'm out of here," Ueda announces and follows after Jin. Nakamaru, who has been silent throughout, leaves soon after. His silence is perhaps more cutting than any of their words. Taguchi leaves, too, when he moves to set the toppled chair up right and Koki barks at him to leave it alone.
And then it's only him and Kame.
"Aren't you going to get going, too?" Kame asks him, lips thin and tight, sealed together like strips of velcro.
With a solemn, "I though you were on of us," Koki does just that.
He's neared the building's exit when he realizes that he's forgotten his wallet. His wallet holds his car keys. With a loud curse, Koki retraces his steps. He hopes Kame isn't still in the room; returning after his parting shot would be really lame but he can't exactly walk all the way home with his car parked in the lot. That would be even lamer.
He struts inside the room but his steps slow down soon enough, guilt dragging at his feet. Kame is curled up on the couch, his legs pulled up and his face hidden behind his knobby knees. They fail to muffle the wet sniffles that shake his body. Koki walks towards the table as quietly as possible but he trips over the toppled chair and Kame whips his head up, red eyes wide and fearful. Koki winces; Kame has always looked rather ugly whenever he cries. His growing cheekbones and groomed eyebrows will never change that. At least not for Koki.
"Just grabbing my wallet," Koki says and lifts said wallet from the table, waving it around in proof. Kame takes a shaky breath and buries his face back behind his knees. Koki's heart aches but he has nothing to say that won't sound awkward or insincere and so he says nothing at all. He turns and is heading for the door when Kame's watery voice floats to him.
"I don't know how to make you guys believe me."
Koki closes his eyes.
"Try," he says. And then leaves.
The second time, Koki forgives Kame but is still too angry to show it.
-
The third time Koki forgives Kame is when Kame changes his cell number and fails to tell him.
Koki jokes about it on an episode of Heyx3 where everybody is grilling Kame and giving him a tough time while Kame squirms and giggles everything off. A pretty face excuses everything for an idol it seems. Koki sits behind Kame and stares at the back of his head in disbelief as Kame's co-actor tells the entire studio about how Kame had erased his cell number off his phone. Koki can't believe it. Not that Kame would do that to someone else, no.
Koki can't believe that Kame would do that to him, too.
He's more than Kame's co-actor, more than someone who's worked with him for a couple of months. Koki has been by Kame's side for years and sure they've had a rocky past but KAT-TUN's finally debuted now and Koki has always made an effort to support Kame as his friend. The revelation that Koki's number doesn't even rank a place in Kame's phone is like a stone to the gut.
And so he adds a laughing, "you know, he did that to me, too," and smiles sourly when Kame bursts out a string of excuses. No one buys them.
The thing is, though, that Koki doesn't understand it. He understands the anger -the betrayal- because he's felt it before. But he doesn't understand the hurt that swells underneath it all. At least, not for something so inane as Kame deleting his number, accidentally or not. If it were any of the other members, he'd punch them on the shoulder and yell at them to add his number again. With Kame though... With Kame, he can't. It's inexplicable, and stupid and childish and everything in between, but he can't. Kame has to be the one to make the first move. It's always been Koki who would reach out his hand and after getting it slapped away, Koki doesn't want to risk it again.
The idea that he's been forcing a one-sided friendship on Kame both terrifies and embarrasses him.
The filming ends and Koki watches Kame chatter on with his work friends -Koki winces; he figures he's just another work friend, too- using his usual onomatopoeias and demented hand gestures (Koki's always found them endearing). He's sitting with the rest of the members while Kame stands near the cameras. AT-TUN on one side, Kame on the other. The gap has been growing wider ever since their debut - and it makes sense, really. Kame's the face of the group, has starred in Nobuta wo Produce and is beckoning all eyes to him. Koki's been in the industry long enough to know how things work but dreads losing Kame to the stardom anyway, because even if KAT-TUN rises along with him, Kame's the type to shoot past them all. He's known that for a while now.
He's sure that Kame's well aware of it, too.
Once the last check ups are done, the director gives them the okay and Koki splits away from the group. Nakamaru invites him to a nearby ramen shop but Koki declines; Nakamaru would make him pay for it, anyway. He steps outside and is walking to his car when he hears footsteps running behind him and a tug on his shirt.
"Wait a second," Kame says, his voice thin and breathy and Koki stills.
"What's up?" Koki answers back casually, turning to face him and schooling his features into something neutral.
Of course, that plan falls apart as soon as Kame starts looking at him. Really looking at him the way he does whenever he senses something brewing, eyes narrowed with focus and concern; Kame's perceptiveness is almost like a sixth sense.
"Give me your cell number," is all he says after surveying Koki for a few silent, agonising moments.
"You're not going to delete it this time, are you?" Koki doesn't care that the bitterness leaks into his voice. There's no point in hiding now that Kame's read him like an open book.
Kame just looks at him and then rolls his eyes like the little snot he is and reaches into Koki's pocket when Koki fails to make any move. He pulls out Koki's cell phone and then his own and Koki watches him briskly exchange their numbers, his small fingers moving deftly across the keys. He thinks of the time, just a few weeks ago, when he had sent Kame text after text and after hours of waiting, still had no reply; he thinks of the cool, female voice of the operator telling him that the number he had called was no longer in use. He then thinks back to their chibi days when Koki was feeling restless and texted Kame with something stupid like "I can't fall asleep" at half past one, just to piss him off; he remembers falling off his bed in surprise when his phone vibrated with a message just a few minutes later: try drinking a glass of milk :D :D :D it always works for me~ :D
Koki thinks of the Kame of the past and the Kame standing before him now, patiently holding his phone out towards Koki for him to take.
He hasn't changed. Not much, anyway. Kame is still Kame, only with a bigger, brighter shell.
"We're friends," Kame assures him once Koki takes his phone back, a new number added to his list of contacts. Later he will have to shorten the 'Kamenashi Kazuya' to 'Kame'.
"I know," Koki grins, and for that he is grateful.
-
The fourth time, Koki is more angry for Kame's sake than his own.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Koki bursts out as soon as the washroom door closes behind him. Luckily the room is empty.
Kame walks to a sink and opens the tap, cool water rushing out in a stream. "Just let it go, Koki," he says and leans forward to splash his face. His face is calm and serene but Koki's not stupid. He sees the tight grip of Kame's hands on the edge of the basin and knows that Kame's wound up just as tightly as he is. Only he hides it better, as always.
"You're seriously okay with letting him back? After all this?" Koki asks desperately because he, himself, is not. He doesn't want to wrap his head around the fact that Kame is defending Akanishi's return to the group as if the six months worth of sleepless nights meant nothing, had no cost whatsoever.
Kame's reflection looks at him, water droplets dripping off his face and darkening his lashes. He looks as if he's drowning. "I have to be," he says slowly. "KAT-TUN needs him."
And Koki bristles so fast that in just a few moments he's walked up to Kame and has a tight grip on his upper arm. They've lasted without the A for months and have proven that they can stand without it; Kame saying otherwise is like a slap in face, a rejection to all of their collective efforts. "We don't need him," Koki spits out, every inch of him prickling with thorns ready to pierce.
Kame is silent. He makes no move to pull his arm away even though Koki knows that his grip must be painful (but he's too angry to make himself let go). Kame is silent until he sighs and falls limp, his entire body melting onto Koki's for support, his wet face tickling Koki's neck.
"But we do," he whispers into Koki's skin. "I do."
A cold drop of water falls from Kame's bangs and skates into the collar of his shirt. Koki shudders.
He feels like crying.
Slowly, he let's go of his grip on Kame's arm and instead envelopes him, blanketing him with all the protection he can offer. "Kame-chan...," he says into Kame's hair, the scent of citrus and flower washing over him, and plants a light, grazing kiss on his temple. He knows that whatever happened between Kame and Akanishi is something he'll never be privy to - and is glad for it. He knows that AkaKame is a thing of the past and is glad for that, too. What breaks his heart though, is the slight body he holds in his arms. A body that, despite being supported solely by Koki's own, feels like nothing, has no significant weight at all.
Koki's forgotten. Blinded by all the righteous, fiery anger that still burns within him now, he's forgotten that it's Kame who has sufferred the strongest brunt of Akanishi's absence. Koki's seen it. They all have. Kame struggling to carry the K and the A of the group on shoulders that are already too bony and frail, shoulders that are already worn from carrying the K alone. Kame stretching himself thin and scraping together everything he can to make sure KAT-TUN stays on top, to make sure they don't disappear just because one of their stars has, because that's just what Kame does. And has been doing ever since he stepped up to their dance coach less than a decade ago.
"Koki, you're crushing me," Kame says with a breathy laugh and Koki realizes with a start that he really is.
"Sorry," he says sheepishly and loosens his hold. He doesn't let go though, and Kame just hums and snuggles into him some more, like a furry little ferret digging into its nest. Koki has always associated Kame with cute, cuddly animals and as much as it embarrasses them both, he can't bring himself to think otherwise. Not when Kame squirms up to him like this.
They stand together in the middle of the washroom, Koki's arms still wrapped around Kame possessively and Kame murmuring his worries into the crook of Koki's neck. It's in this position that they're found by Maru who enters the door and after gaping at them, eyes growing as large as his nose, skitters back out without a word.
Koki blinks back at Kame and they both fall into peals of laughter. Koki calms down soon enough and then waits patiently for Kame's amusement to finally dampen into a simple smile. Only things are never simple with Kame, Koki thinks as his heart thuds. That smile has always been his weakness.
"We should get back," Kame says and Koki asks him if he'll be okay.
"Aren't I always?" Kame teases back and then more seriously, asks, "How about you?"
Koki just shrugs and at Kame's eye roll, pushes him out the door.
They walk back to the table where the rest of KAT-TUN is seated. Maru is leaning over the table, whispering furiously to Junno who sits across him, when they arrive; he pinks and sits back with an abrupt cough as he catches Koki's eye.
"What's up with all the gossip?" Koki asks as he takes a seat next to Kame who sits opposite to Akanishi. He enjoys watching Maru squirm.
"Well, now that you ladies have finally freshened up, can we get eating now?" Ueda grumbles. He already has a fork in hand and Koki thinks if they wait any longer, Ueda will enter a tantrum and start banging his fist against the table. He kind of wants to wait it out and see if Ueda will actually risk it; the cute waiter he'd been flirting with is still around after all.
"How about a toast, first?" Kame asks and the table falls silent. Kame is looking straight at Akanishi.
Koki slinks his hand under the table to give Kame's a gentle squeeze.
"Alright," Akanishi says and the urge to bruise his pretty face lessens. Akanishi lifts his glass and everyone follows.
"To KAT-TUN," Kame announces. And then after a pause, "To the six of us."
Koki watches Kame throw his head back as he swallows his drink, the restaurant lights shading his neck with a tannish glow. He hopes that Kame knows what he's doing. But then, he usually does.
Underneath the table, Kame squeezes his hand back and Koki smiles into his drink.
(And then snorts when he sees Maru watching them suspiciously.)
-
The fifth time is when Koki confesses and Kame laughs it off.
The day is beautiful. A tad too windy but the sun is shining bright and strong and the smell of the sea hangs in the air, refreshing and cool. The best part, though, is having Kame all to himself. Kame, who's overjoyed laughter and wonder echoes the little Kamenashi of the past. Koki loves that Kame will always be a child at heart.
Well. He loves Kame, regardless.
And says so, as loud and clear as he possibly can as the bell chimes across the waves.
"You don't have to yell it," Kame laughs under the brim of his purple fedora. "I'm standing right here, beside you."
And Koki's heart falls, just a little.
He had announced it as a joke, some fun flirting to cheer up the fans that would be watching the show, but a part of him had hoped that Kame would know him well enough to see the truth in his declaration. Had hoped that Kame would signal some kind of reciprocation. A hug. A whisper. Anything.
The fact that Kame laughs it off so easily is frustrating. Sure, they tease and flirt for the cameras occasionally, but that's not the entirety of it. At least, not for Koki. Koki leans against Kame because he finds comfort and support in his thin frame; he jokes around and indulges Kame's odd whiles because he adores the smile Kame gifts him afterwards; he touches Kame more than the others -more than neccessary- because it's Kame and Kame never flinches and always touches back.
A lot of it is for the camera, but the majority - the large, encompassing majority that lays a claim on Kame - is for himself.
Koki had thought it was the same for Kame, too.
They eat lunch by the sea and are barreled by the same, repetitive questions. But then the talk turns to KAT-TUN's past and Koki can't help but say it.
"Honestly, I hated everyone."
From the corner of his eyes, he sees the mute, hurt look on Kame's face and his satisfaction sours, curdling like spoiled milk and leaving an awful stench in his stomach. Nevermind that it's the truth, Kame has always been sensitive to any sliver of dislike. It's why Koki had said it in the first place.
"You must have thought I was annoying, too," he adds because he really was and wants Kame to admit it so he can stop feeling like an ass.
But Kame never makes things easy for him.
"No...no, that's not true," he says, his brows furrowed in contemplation as he spears a shrimp. "You were really loud, is all."
Koki feels like the worst man alive. Like he's just kicked a starving puppy. Koki had made his dislike for Kame glaringly obvious when they were chibis. Not as obvious as ripping Junno's T off their poster, but close enough. He had thought the hate was mutual.
Koki is learning a lot of things today that he doesn't want to.
He tries to make it up, though, when they're climbing up the mountain and Kame is a hyper bundle of joy jumping around in the cart. Koki watches him yell out the window, his face lighting up when the mountains return a resounding call.
"I'm happy that we're here. That Kame is happy."
Again, some of it is for the camera. But most of it is not.
"You don't have to say that," Kame giggles. He's obviously embarrassed but Koki knows that he's secretly pleased, too. And that's enough for now, Koki thinks, because he may not be to Kame what Kame is to him, but at least he can make Kame smile the smile that he loves, the one that makes his eyes disappear underneath the baubles of his cheeks.
Their time runs out and he and Kame return to the car. Koki is about to climb inside when Kame pulls him back up and pecks him on the cheek.
"I'm always standing right beside you," he whispers, mischief tugging at his lips and dancing in his eyes. And before Koki can bring himself to say or do anything, Kame ducks and disappears inside the car.
Koki stands there, the car door hanging open underneath his palm, completely and utterly dazed.
He had forgotten just how perceptive Kame could be.
Their driver gives Koki an odd look and Koki finally wakes from his stupor.
"Koki~" Kame calls from inside the car and Koki's stomach goes all queasy. He feels sick but it's the best he's ever felt. He doesn't know how to handle it.
"Can I sit in the front?" he asks the driver instead and spends the entire drive back home peeking glances of Kame's pouting face from the rear-view mirror.
He feels bad -okay, that's a lie; he feels on top of the world- but he'd rather not spent two hours being teased by Kame in the cramped space of the backseats with their driver watching. With the dopey grin that's found its permanent place on his face, Koki's pretty sure he's made enough of a fool of himself as it is.
-
It's another beatiful day and Koki feels like he's about to vomit.
Sweat has plastered his shirt to his skin and his muscles are burning in rebellion, sore and aching after being neglected for so long. He doesn't know how Kame does this everday. Maybe being in love with the sport since childhood would help.
"Pass the ball," Kame calls from a few meters away. He's just as sweaty but his breaths are slow and even, unlike Koki who's already heaving from a short sprint to catch the baseball Kame had batted out into the field. As he bends down to reach the ball, his calves screaming at him to stop, he tries to remind himself why exactly he had thought agreeing to help Kame with his batting was a good idea.
He can't remember much but he figures it was the usual. A smile and a warm Koki thrown his way, a hand on his neck and a peck to his lips. Kame was a conniving bastard and new how to get his way. But Koki didn't exactly try to make it harder for him so maybe they were both at fault.
"Here, catch it!" Koki calls as throws the ball over.
Kame does a flashy move and catches the ball behind his back. Koki rolls his eyes.
"Stop trying to show off!" he yells. Nevermind that he's grinning like a lovestruck fool.
Kame's barking laugh carries across the field. "Okay, your turn to bat now."
Koki groans as Kame walks over, swinging his bat along side. He had thought the torture was over.
"I'm no good at batting, Kame-chan," he whines. "Besides, I'm here to help you out with yours."
Something sparks in Kame's eyes. "Nah, I'm sure you're great at batting, Koki," he giggles and gives a little hip thrust. Koki flushes and smacks him upside the head. Kame falls into a heap of laughter at his feet.
"You're getting worse than Uepomu," he scoffs and walks off with the bat before Kame realizes just how bad he's flushing and starts to make dirty jokes about teaching Koki how to 'handle his bat right'.
He gets into position and - get your head out of there, he snaps at himself, ears warming to the tips.
"Ready?" Kame calls and Koki nods in answer. He's seen Kame pitch hundreds of time, what with the idiot bringing his baseball things everywhere he goes. He can do this.
The ball flies into the sky -of course Kame would go easy on him- a white streak against the clear blue until it eclipses the sun and Koki squints and loses all sight of it. The next thing he knows, he's lying on the ground, the grass prickling against his back and his head pounding like an abused drum. This is what happens when he indulges Kame.
"Koki!" he hears Kame yell from a distance and soon enough there are small, rough hands flittering across his face and lifting his head onto something warm and hard. "You really are no good at batting," Kame laughs when Koki finally manages to overcome the pain and open his eyes. Kame grins down at him and plants a lingering kiss to his forehead.
Correction. This is what happens when he indulges Kame.
"But I'll catch your ball any day," Koki grins up at him weakly and Kame is gone. His entire body quakes with mirth and Koki can feel his leg jittering beneath his head. Koki watches as Kame's hands come together in uncontrollable claps and knows with a fierce certainty that if Kame was on his feet at the moment, he'd be stomping all over the place. Koki watches Kame laugh under the sun and is reminded of the stubborn little boy who had an ugly laugh and an ugly face. Who was even ugly when he cried. That boy is still there now, only he's gorgeous. And in some ways, always has been.
An angelic smile and a devilish charm, Koki had known it all along.
This kid was his to fall for.
-
The one time Koki doesn't forgive Kame is when Kame nails him on the head with a baseball. Of course, he doesn't need to because there's nothing to forgive - nothing to forgive because just minutes afterwards, Kame kisses it all better.
It's a home run from there on out.
-End-
Pairing: KoKame
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5,399
Note: dedicated to Adela
Summary: Five times Koki forgives Kame and the one time he doesn't have to.
The first time Koki forgives Kame is when they're young and Kame is still Kamenashi to him and is making everyone's life hell with his incessant nagging.
It's only been a few months since KAT-TUN's formation and Koki still hates everyone's guts. He's above being clumped together with a bunch of miscreants; he's meant for more, for bigger, better things. This group will only hold him back.
"Our timing isn't right!" Kamenashi's squeaky voice resounds in the practice room for the nth time, the panels of mirrors covering the walls reflecting his scrunched up brows and angry face back at him in multiple angles, each angle as unflattering as the next. Koki may not know on what merit Kamenashi was able to pass the auditions, but he's certain that it was not based on looks. "You guys are moving too fast. Slow down a bit."
"Why don't you pick up the pace instead?" Nakamaru says and Koki has to admit he finds the guy okay. Average at best, but okay to talk to; he has a funny looking nose but a kind face. Nakamaru's the only member who he doesn't want to knock out on a regular basis.
Kamenashi frowns harder and Koki wonders how an ugly little face like that will get the group anywhere.
"The coach told us to do it this way," Kamenashi says.
"But you're not the coach," Koki replies because he's had enough of a snotty little junior ordering him around. Judging by the scowls of the rest of the members, he suspects he's not the only one, either.
"Let's just do it the way we want, Kame. It's more fun this way," Akanishi says from his sprawl across the floor and Koki rolls his eyes because that's the very definition of Akanishi; he's a good-looking guy and has a nice voice that will take him places, but he's too stubborn for Koki's liking. Koki doesn't object to him, though, because for once he agrees. The only way KAT-TUN will get any notice is if they push against the box Kamenashi's trying to force them into.
When Taguchi voices his agreement, Kamenashi turns to Ueda for support.
"You're not our boss, Kamenashi," is what he gets instead. Koki couldn't agree more.
Kamenashi's skinny little shoulders deflate, his giant ego finally abandoning him. "I didn't say I was," he says, toeing the floor with the tip of his worn sneakers.
"Yeah, well then don't act like it," Koki snaps and Kamenashi for once has nothing to say.
The dance practice recommences, more peacefully now that Kamenashi has finally stopped trying to control all their movements. Koki sees Akanishi add in an extra hip thrust to the routine and so Koki adds in his own flourish: a backward somersault. He ends up rolling into Nakamaru and the room bursts into laughter. Even Kamenashi is heaving, trying to catch his breath as he doubles over and stomps the ground in wild kicks. He looks kind of insane.
The laughter comes to an abrupt stop when their dance instructor walks in and demands to see how their practice is coming along. A storm of verbal abbuse rains down.
"Know your place!" their instructor yells. "Don't think we can't replace you in an instant; boys like you are a dime a dozen. If you can't follow instructions then leave. Useless idiots!"
Koki curls his fists. He sees Ueda and Akanishi doing the same and he knows that one of them -himself included- is about to blow up and ruin any and all chances they have of remaining in Johnny's. He's more than surprised when it's Kamenashi who's the first to step forward.
"We were just trying to incorporate our own flavour," he says steadily. His shoulder's are slumped in submission but his face is as rebellious as Koki's own. Koki doesn't know what to think of that. All he knows is that he's grateful that it was Kamenashi who spoke up first; the kid may be annoying, but he knew how to talk.
Their instructor zones in on Kamenashi now that he's put himself in range and gives him a sound lashing, and Koki doesn't blame Kamenashi when he bows his apology and stands down.
A last stinging remark by their instructor ends their day. As Kamenashi get's his belongings together, throwing a sweat-soaked shirt onto the ratty baseball mitt he carries in his bag, Koki turns to him.
"Aren't you going to say 'I told you so'?" he asks and then grins because he wants to let Kamenashi know that he's not being an ass. Kamenashi just looks at him warily and shrugs.
Koki sighs. "I'm trying to say thanks here, idiot. It was cool, what you did back there."
"Oh," Kamenashi blinks, his face freezing for a moment before it melts into a laugh. Koki watches his eyes disappear into slits and his mouth gape as he falls into squeaky giggles.
Koki thinks he may have just realized why Kamenashi was able to pass the auditions on the first round.
-
The second time is after Kame announces his debut in Shuuji to Akira. Without KAT-TUN.
His voice is quiet and soft and he doesn't meet anyone's eyes as he tells them, just picks at hole in his designer jeans as if telling his groupmates that he's ditching them -after years of gruelling days spent together in cramped dressing rooms and fighting over stupid things like spilled cream- is a chore, a waste of time he can do without.
"So that's it?" Koki asks once he's finished. "You're just going to leave us behind like that?"
Kame doesn't look at him when he begins to answer, "It's just temporary-"
"Bullshit!" Jin hisses and Kame finally looks up, though it's not Koki he's looking at. "Don't lie to us, Kamenashi. You got what you wanted. And now we're never going to debut, are we?"
Koki doesn't know what to believe. Everything that's happening -Kame's new drama, his new single, Johnny's vague words about KAT-TUN's future- everything suggests that Kame is ditching them, shedding the group like an old skin he's grown out of and no longer fits. He's certainly come a long way from his chibi days; they all have. But Kame's transformation is the most startling and more and more people are starting to take notice.
"I didn't want this," Kame grits back, arms folded across his chest. "I told Johnny I didn't want this."
"Then why did you accept the offer?" Junno asks. He looks just as confused as Koki feels. "He couldn't have forced you to do it."
All eyes, a mixture of confusion and anger shining in each pair, turn to rest on Kame.
"He said," Kame pauses before continuing. "Johnny said that we'll be, I mean KAT-TUN will--we'll be closer to debuting after this."
All eyes blink away in betrayal.
"So, wait," Ueda snorts though there is only anger carrying his voice. "This is all for the good of the group? Try again, Kamenashi."
"What do you want me to say? I'm telling the truth," Kame says and his voice is strained. Koki sees him tighten his clutch on his arms, his entire frame wiry and tense, and wonders how Kame is holding himself together when he looks as if he's about to be torn apart from all the tension in the room. It's suffocating for Koki as it is and he's not even in the eye of the hurricane.
"You're not even going to apologise, are you?" asks Jin, his head cocked to the side and eyes surveying Kame as if evaluating him, trying to scan for any hint of regret or whatever else he wants to see. It's a useless effort, Koki thinks; Kame, at this moment, is a vault.
"I didn't do anything wrong," Kame returns steadily and a part of Koki that's been numbed from all the anger broiling inside him admires how Kame is standing strong even now, even now in the face of mutiny. The stubborn little rebel is still in him.
Koki's not in the mood to deal with him now.
And apparently neither is Jin. With a loud crash, Jin topples a nearby chair over with an angry kick and storms out of the room, taking a good chunk of the tension with him. But even with Jin gone, the room still crackles with accusations and hurt feelings, the crash of the chair against the floor still echoing in the air, signalling the fall of something else.
"I'm out of here," Ueda announces and follows after Jin. Nakamaru, who has been silent throughout, leaves soon after. His silence is perhaps more cutting than any of their words. Taguchi leaves, too, when he moves to set the toppled chair up right and Koki barks at him to leave it alone.
And then it's only him and Kame.
"Aren't you going to get going, too?" Kame asks him, lips thin and tight, sealed together like strips of velcro.
With a solemn, "I though you were on of us," Koki does just that.
He's neared the building's exit when he realizes that he's forgotten his wallet. His wallet holds his car keys. With a loud curse, Koki retraces his steps. He hopes Kame isn't still in the room; returning after his parting shot would be really lame but he can't exactly walk all the way home with his car parked in the lot. That would be even lamer.
He struts inside the room but his steps slow down soon enough, guilt dragging at his feet. Kame is curled up on the couch, his legs pulled up and his face hidden behind his knobby knees. They fail to muffle the wet sniffles that shake his body. Koki walks towards the table as quietly as possible but he trips over the toppled chair and Kame whips his head up, red eyes wide and fearful. Koki winces; Kame has always looked rather ugly whenever he cries. His growing cheekbones and groomed eyebrows will never change that. At least not for Koki.
"Just grabbing my wallet," Koki says and lifts said wallet from the table, waving it around in proof. Kame takes a shaky breath and buries his face back behind his knees. Koki's heart aches but he has nothing to say that won't sound awkward or insincere and so he says nothing at all. He turns and is heading for the door when Kame's watery voice floats to him.
"I don't know how to make you guys believe me."
Koki closes his eyes.
"Try," he says. And then leaves.
The second time, Koki forgives Kame but is still too angry to show it.
-
The third time Koki forgives Kame is when Kame changes his cell number and fails to tell him.
Koki jokes about it on an episode of Heyx3 where everybody is grilling Kame and giving him a tough time while Kame squirms and giggles everything off. A pretty face excuses everything for an idol it seems. Koki sits behind Kame and stares at the back of his head in disbelief as Kame's co-actor tells the entire studio about how Kame had erased his cell number off his phone. Koki can't believe it. Not that Kame would do that to someone else, no.
Koki can't believe that Kame would do that to him, too.
He's more than Kame's co-actor, more than someone who's worked with him for a couple of months. Koki has been by Kame's side for years and sure they've had a rocky past but KAT-TUN's finally debuted now and Koki has always made an effort to support Kame as his friend. The revelation that Koki's number doesn't even rank a place in Kame's phone is like a stone to the gut.
And so he adds a laughing, "you know, he did that to me, too," and smiles sourly when Kame bursts out a string of excuses. No one buys them.
The thing is, though, that Koki doesn't understand it. He understands the anger -the betrayal- because he's felt it before. But he doesn't understand the hurt that swells underneath it all. At least, not for something so inane as Kame deleting his number, accidentally or not. If it were any of the other members, he'd punch them on the shoulder and yell at them to add his number again. With Kame though... With Kame, he can't. It's inexplicable, and stupid and childish and everything in between, but he can't. Kame has to be the one to make the first move. It's always been Koki who would reach out his hand and after getting it slapped away, Koki doesn't want to risk it again.
The idea that he's been forcing a one-sided friendship on Kame both terrifies and embarrasses him.
The filming ends and Koki watches Kame chatter on with his work friends -Koki winces; he figures he's just another work friend, too- using his usual onomatopoeias and demented hand gestures (Koki's always found them endearing). He's sitting with the rest of the members while Kame stands near the cameras. AT-TUN on one side, Kame on the other. The gap has been growing wider ever since their debut - and it makes sense, really. Kame's the face of the group, has starred in Nobuta wo Produce and is beckoning all eyes to him. Koki's been in the industry long enough to know how things work but dreads losing Kame to the stardom anyway, because even if KAT-TUN rises along with him, Kame's the type to shoot past them all. He's known that for a while now.
He's sure that Kame's well aware of it, too.
Once the last check ups are done, the director gives them the okay and Koki splits away from the group. Nakamaru invites him to a nearby ramen shop but Koki declines; Nakamaru would make him pay for it, anyway. He steps outside and is walking to his car when he hears footsteps running behind him and a tug on his shirt.
"Wait a second," Kame says, his voice thin and breathy and Koki stills.
"What's up?" Koki answers back casually, turning to face him and schooling his features into something neutral.
Of course, that plan falls apart as soon as Kame starts looking at him. Really looking at him the way he does whenever he senses something brewing, eyes narrowed with focus and concern; Kame's perceptiveness is almost like a sixth sense.
"Give me your cell number," is all he says after surveying Koki for a few silent, agonising moments.
"You're not going to delete it this time, are you?" Koki doesn't care that the bitterness leaks into his voice. There's no point in hiding now that Kame's read him like an open book.
Kame just looks at him and then rolls his eyes like the little snot he is and reaches into Koki's pocket when Koki fails to make any move. He pulls out Koki's cell phone and then his own and Koki watches him briskly exchange their numbers, his small fingers moving deftly across the keys. He thinks of the time, just a few weeks ago, when he had sent Kame text after text and after hours of waiting, still had no reply; he thinks of the cool, female voice of the operator telling him that the number he had called was no longer in use. He then thinks back to their chibi days when Koki was feeling restless and texted Kame with something stupid like "I can't fall asleep" at half past one, just to piss him off; he remembers falling off his bed in surprise when his phone vibrated with a message just a few minutes later: try drinking a glass of milk :D :D :D it always works for me~ :D
Koki thinks of the Kame of the past and the Kame standing before him now, patiently holding his phone out towards Koki for him to take.
He hasn't changed. Not much, anyway. Kame is still Kame, only with a bigger, brighter shell.
"We're friends," Kame assures him once Koki takes his phone back, a new number added to his list of contacts. Later he will have to shorten the 'Kamenashi Kazuya' to 'Kame'.
"I know," Koki grins, and for that he is grateful.
-
The fourth time, Koki is more angry for Kame's sake than his own.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Koki bursts out as soon as the washroom door closes behind him. Luckily the room is empty.
Kame walks to a sink and opens the tap, cool water rushing out in a stream. "Just let it go, Koki," he says and leans forward to splash his face. His face is calm and serene but Koki's not stupid. He sees the tight grip of Kame's hands on the edge of the basin and knows that Kame's wound up just as tightly as he is. Only he hides it better, as always.
"You're seriously okay with letting him back? After all this?" Koki asks desperately because he, himself, is not. He doesn't want to wrap his head around the fact that Kame is defending Akanishi's return to the group as if the six months worth of sleepless nights meant nothing, had no cost whatsoever.
Kame's reflection looks at him, water droplets dripping off his face and darkening his lashes. He looks as if he's drowning. "I have to be," he says slowly. "KAT-TUN needs him."
And Koki bristles so fast that in just a few moments he's walked up to Kame and has a tight grip on his upper arm. They've lasted without the A for months and have proven that they can stand without it; Kame saying otherwise is like a slap in face, a rejection to all of their collective efforts. "We don't need him," Koki spits out, every inch of him prickling with thorns ready to pierce.
Kame is silent. He makes no move to pull his arm away even though Koki knows that his grip must be painful (but he's too angry to make himself let go). Kame is silent until he sighs and falls limp, his entire body melting onto Koki's for support, his wet face tickling Koki's neck.
"But we do," he whispers into Koki's skin. "I do."
A cold drop of water falls from Kame's bangs and skates into the collar of his shirt. Koki shudders.
He feels like crying.
Slowly, he let's go of his grip on Kame's arm and instead envelopes him, blanketing him with all the protection he can offer. "Kame-chan...," he says into Kame's hair, the scent of citrus and flower washing over him, and plants a light, grazing kiss on his temple. He knows that whatever happened between Kame and Akanishi is something he'll never be privy to - and is glad for it. He knows that AkaKame is a thing of the past and is glad for that, too. What breaks his heart though, is the slight body he holds in his arms. A body that, despite being supported solely by Koki's own, feels like nothing, has no significant weight at all.
Koki's forgotten. Blinded by all the righteous, fiery anger that still burns within him now, he's forgotten that it's Kame who has sufferred the strongest brunt of Akanishi's absence. Koki's seen it. They all have. Kame struggling to carry the K and the A of the group on shoulders that are already too bony and frail, shoulders that are already worn from carrying the K alone. Kame stretching himself thin and scraping together everything he can to make sure KAT-TUN stays on top, to make sure they don't disappear just because one of their stars has, because that's just what Kame does. And has been doing ever since he stepped up to their dance coach less than a decade ago.
"Koki, you're crushing me," Kame says with a breathy laugh and Koki realizes with a start that he really is.
"Sorry," he says sheepishly and loosens his hold. He doesn't let go though, and Kame just hums and snuggles into him some more, like a furry little ferret digging into its nest. Koki has always associated Kame with cute, cuddly animals and as much as it embarrasses them both, he can't bring himself to think otherwise. Not when Kame squirms up to him like this.
They stand together in the middle of the washroom, Koki's arms still wrapped around Kame possessively and Kame murmuring his worries into the crook of Koki's neck. It's in this position that they're found by Maru who enters the door and after gaping at them, eyes growing as large as his nose, skitters back out without a word.
Koki blinks back at Kame and they both fall into peals of laughter. Koki calms down soon enough and then waits patiently for Kame's amusement to finally dampen into a simple smile. Only things are never simple with Kame, Koki thinks as his heart thuds. That smile has always been his weakness.
"We should get back," Kame says and Koki asks him if he'll be okay.
"Aren't I always?" Kame teases back and then more seriously, asks, "How about you?"
Koki just shrugs and at Kame's eye roll, pushes him out the door.
They walk back to the table where the rest of KAT-TUN is seated. Maru is leaning over the table, whispering furiously to Junno who sits across him, when they arrive; he pinks and sits back with an abrupt cough as he catches Koki's eye.
"What's up with all the gossip?" Koki asks as he takes a seat next to Kame who sits opposite to Akanishi. He enjoys watching Maru squirm.
"Well, now that you ladies have finally freshened up, can we get eating now?" Ueda grumbles. He already has a fork in hand and Koki thinks if they wait any longer, Ueda will enter a tantrum and start banging his fist against the table. He kind of wants to wait it out and see if Ueda will actually risk it; the cute waiter he'd been flirting with is still around after all.
"How about a toast, first?" Kame asks and the table falls silent. Kame is looking straight at Akanishi.
Koki slinks his hand under the table to give Kame's a gentle squeeze.
"Alright," Akanishi says and the urge to bruise his pretty face lessens. Akanishi lifts his glass and everyone follows.
"To KAT-TUN," Kame announces. And then after a pause, "To the six of us."
Koki watches Kame throw his head back as he swallows his drink, the restaurant lights shading his neck with a tannish glow. He hopes that Kame knows what he's doing. But then, he usually does.
Underneath the table, Kame squeezes his hand back and Koki smiles into his drink.
(And then snorts when he sees Maru watching them suspiciously.)
-
The fifth time is when Koki confesses and Kame laughs it off.
The day is beautiful. A tad too windy but the sun is shining bright and strong and the smell of the sea hangs in the air, refreshing and cool. The best part, though, is having Kame all to himself. Kame, who's overjoyed laughter and wonder echoes the little Kamenashi of the past. Koki loves that Kame will always be a child at heart.
Well. He loves Kame, regardless.
And says so, as loud and clear as he possibly can as the bell chimes across the waves.
"You don't have to yell it," Kame laughs under the brim of his purple fedora. "I'm standing right here, beside you."
And Koki's heart falls, just a little.
He had announced it as a joke, some fun flirting to cheer up the fans that would be watching the show, but a part of him had hoped that Kame would know him well enough to see the truth in his declaration. Had hoped that Kame would signal some kind of reciprocation. A hug. A whisper. Anything.
The fact that Kame laughs it off so easily is frustrating. Sure, they tease and flirt for the cameras occasionally, but that's not the entirety of it. At least, not for Koki. Koki leans against Kame because he finds comfort and support in his thin frame; he jokes around and indulges Kame's odd whiles because he adores the smile Kame gifts him afterwards; he touches Kame more than the others -more than neccessary- because it's Kame and Kame never flinches and always touches back.
A lot of it is for the camera, but the majority - the large, encompassing majority that lays a claim on Kame - is for himself.
Koki had thought it was the same for Kame, too.
They eat lunch by the sea and are barreled by the same, repetitive questions. But then the talk turns to KAT-TUN's past and Koki can't help but say it.
"Honestly, I hated everyone."
From the corner of his eyes, he sees the mute, hurt look on Kame's face and his satisfaction sours, curdling like spoiled milk and leaving an awful stench in his stomach. Nevermind that it's the truth, Kame has always been sensitive to any sliver of dislike. It's why Koki had said it in the first place.
"You must have thought I was annoying, too," he adds because he really was and wants Kame to admit it so he can stop feeling like an ass.
But Kame never makes things easy for him.
"No...no, that's not true," he says, his brows furrowed in contemplation as he spears a shrimp. "You were really loud, is all."
Koki feels like the worst man alive. Like he's just kicked a starving puppy. Koki had made his dislike for Kame glaringly obvious when they were chibis. Not as obvious as ripping Junno's T off their poster, but close enough. He had thought the hate was mutual.
Koki is learning a lot of things today that he doesn't want to.
He tries to make it up, though, when they're climbing up the mountain and Kame is a hyper bundle of joy jumping around in the cart. Koki watches him yell out the window, his face lighting up when the mountains return a resounding call.
"I'm happy that we're here. That Kame is happy."
Again, some of it is for the camera. But most of it is not.
"You don't have to say that," Kame giggles. He's obviously embarrassed but Koki knows that he's secretly pleased, too. And that's enough for now, Koki thinks, because he may not be to Kame what Kame is to him, but at least he can make Kame smile the smile that he loves, the one that makes his eyes disappear underneath the baubles of his cheeks.
Their time runs out and he and Kame return to the car. Koki is about to climb inside when Kame pulls him back up and pecks him on the cheek.
"I'm always standing right beside you," he whispers, mischief tugging at his lips and dancing in his eyes. And before Koki can bring himself to say or do anything, Kame ducks and disappears inside the car.
Koki stands there, the car door hanging open underneath his palm, completely and utterly dazed.
He had forgotten just how perceptive Kame could be.
Their driver gives Koki an odd look and Koki finally wakes from his stupor.
"Koki~" Kame calls from inside the car and Koki's stomach goes all queasy. He feels sick but it's the best he's ever felt. He doesn't know how to handle it.
"Can I sit in the front?" he asks the driver instead and spends the entire drive back home peeking glances of Kame's pouting face from the rear-view mirror.
He feels bad -okay, that's a lie; he feels on top of the world- but he'd rather not spent two hours being teased by Kame in the cramped space of the backseats with their driver watching. With the dopey grin that's found its permanent place on his face, Koki's pretty sure he's made enough of a fool of himself as it is.
-
It's another beatiful day and Koki feels like he's about to vomit.
Sweat has plastered his shirt to his skin and his muscles are burning in rebellion, sore and aching after being neglected for so long. He doesn't know how Kame does this everday. Maybe being in love with the sport since childhood would help.
"Pass the ball," Kame calls from a few meters away. He's just as sweaty but his breaths are slow and even, unlike Koki who's already heaving from a short sprint to catch the baseball Kame had batted out into the field. As he bends down to reach the ball, his calves screaming at him to stop, he tries to remind himself why exactly he had thought agreeing to help Kame with his batting was a good idea.
He can't remember much but he figures it was the usual. A smile and a warm Koki thrown his way, a hand on his neck and a peck to his lips. Kame was a conniving bastard and new how to get his way. But Koki didn't exactly try to make it harder for him so maybe they were both at fault.
"Here, catch it!" Koki calls as throws the ball over.
Kame does a flashy move and catches the ball behind his back. Koki rolls his eyes.
"Stop trying to show off!" he yells. Nevermind that he's grinning like a lovestruck fool.
Kame's barking laugh carries across the field. "Okay, your turn to bat now."
Koki groans as Kame walks over, swinging his bat along side. He had thought the torture was over.
"I'm no good at batting, Kame-chan," he whines. "Besides, I'm here to help you out with yours."
Something sparks in Kame's eyes. "Nah, I'm sure you're great at batting, Koki," he giggles and gives a little hip thrust. Koki flushes and smacks him upside the head. Kame falls into a heap of laughter at his feet.
"You're getting worse than Uepomu," he scoffs and walks off with the bat before Kame realizes just how bad he's flushing and starts to make dirty jokes about teaching Koki how to 'handle his bat right'.
He gets into position and - get your head out of there, he snaps at himself, ears warming to the tips.
"Ready?" Kame calls and Koki nods in answer. He's seen Kame pitch hundreds of time, what with the idiot bringing his baseball things everywhere he goes. He can do this.
The ball flies into the sky -of course Kame would go easy on him- a white streak against the clear blue until it eclipses the sun and Koki squints and loses all sight of it. The next thing he knows, he's lying on the ground, the grass prickling against his back and his head pounding like an abused drum. This is what happens when he indulges Kame.
"Koki!" he hears Kame yell from a distance and soon enough there are small, rough hands flittering across his face and lifting his head onto something warm and hard. "You really are no good at batting," Kame laughs when Koki finally manages to overcome the pain and open his eyes. Kame grins down at him and plants a lingering kiss to his forehead.
Correction. This is what happens when he indulges Kame.
"But I'll catch your ball any day," Koki grins up at him weakly and Kame is gone. His entire body quakes with mirth and Koki can feel his leg jittering beneath his head. Koki watches as Kame's hands come together in uncontrollable claps and knows with a fierce certainty that if Kame was on his feet at the moment, he'd be stomping all over the place. Koki watches Kame laugh under the sun and is reminded of the stubborn little boy who had an ugly laugh and an ugly face. Who was even ugly when he cried. That boy is still there now, only he's gorgeous. And in some ways, always has been.
An angelic smile and a devilish charm, Koki had known it all along.
This kid was his to fall for.
-
The one time Koki doesn't forgive Kame is when Kame nails him on the head with a baseball. Of course, he doesn't need to because there's nothing to forgive - nothing to forgive because just minutes afterwards, Kame kisses it all better.
It's a home run from there on out.
-End-
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-02-19 10:52 am (UTC)*dies*
&hearts ___ &hearts
That KoKame CTKT ep is one of my favourites.
It was so lovely &hearts
*squishes*
no subject
Date: 2011-02-19 08:08 pm (UTC)I'm so sad they don't have another show yet to showcase their lovey-dovey-ness :((
Thank you, bb ♥ *squishes back*
i love you for this <3
Date: 2011-02-19 11:03 am (UTC)sugoi~ <3 <3 i totally love it!!!
the way koki wanted to be a badass, yet he remained a softie <333 the way kame was being kame till the end <3333 aaa! everything was perfect!!! *o* kokame is definitely the best <3333
thank you for this *huggles*
Re: i love you for this <3
Date: 2011-02-19 08:12 pm (UTC)Koki is a woobie, always. ♥
Thank you for your comment! So glad you liked it :) ♥
no subject
Date: 2011-02-19 11:53 am (UTC)Amaziiiiiiiing!!!!!!!
I really really love your fic!!!! <3
The way you handled the real moments, and invented ones and the personalities of each... really fantastic *_______*
no subject
Date: 2011-02-19 08:14 pm (UTC)It's always fun to take canon events and put a spin on them. And with KoKame it's so much easier because they're already so flirty lol. Glad you liked it! :D
no subject
Date: 2011-02-19 12:08 pm (UTC)yay! love this^.^
its so love ly
you show us how kokame's relationship developed.
thanks for sharing this♥♥♥
no subject
Date: 2011-02-19 08:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-19 02:06 pm (UTC)I like this fic too, of course!
But but but ;__; The hardest part to read was the Shuuji to Akira part X_X Teary-eyed again. LOL. I've rewatched in the past days some videos from 2006 and the glances AT-TUN threw at Kame killed me. So... AWW ;_; (this is my second weak point after Yuuki X_X). it seems you always write fic as soon as I rewatched smth related to that! First Yuuki, now this! Did you place cameras in my room?! XD
Then, strictly regarding the fic: I liked how everyone was IC. Koki is actually a softie inside with some "badass moments", and Kame is... Kame XD It's rare to find fics that mantain their real behaviours so I liked it very much *_* Even when I wanted Koki be a softie w/ crying!Kame but of course he wouldn't have been in reality at that time ^.^'
And OMG THE BATTING!!! *rolls on the floor* I can so imagine kame going perv X°D
Me likes ♥
no subject
Date: 2011-02-19 08:24 pm (UTC)Okay, good. So it's not just me. I know a lot of ppl think KT were just joking around but I'm pretty sure AT-TUN were really pissed at Kame during that time. It showed so clearly in the Heyx3 episodes :(
the cameras...well, I do have to keep a look out for Cho Iside, don't I? ;D
Yeah, as much as Koki must adore Kame, I'm certain he was really angry at him at that point. But I like to think that he was the fastest to forgive him and that's why Kame seems more comfortable around him than he does with the others. ;) The batting joke only came about because I had just talked to a friend about gospo and all it's innuendos XD
:D ♥
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Date: 2011-02-19 03:42 pm (UTC)Thanks dear!!!! wonderfull!!! *-*
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Date: 2011-02-19 08:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-19 03:48 pm (UTC)Sara, ILUSM. Seriously. Finally. Kokame that makes me squeal and roll ;__; ♥. It's gorgeous! I can't even leave a coherent comment D:
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Date: 2011-02-19 08:30 pm (UTC)♥♥♥ ahh~ it makes me so happy knowing that you liked it ;__; there needs to be more KoKame fics in fandom. more Kame/T-TUN overall *prods you* Thank you! Your comment is enough, bb ♥
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Date: 2011-02-19 04:07 pm (UTC)That no-plan episode of Cartoon KAT-TUN, I love it so much..
thanks for sharing!
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Date: 2011-02-19 08:33 pm (UTC)Me too ;__: KT needs a new show asap :( I'm glad that you enjoyed it! ♥
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Date: 2011-02-19 07:00 pm (UTC)I cried at Shuuji to Akira part....its so heartbreaking what Kame went thru at that point
I love how KoKame friendship develop throughout..and lol at Maru sneaking on them..and Junno, a clean freak and KY he is, still wanna put the chair back
my fav CTKT moment is their date...and Koki love confession!!
TQ
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Date: 2011-02-19 08:37 pm (UTC)It was really heartbreaking :( the guilt must have been eating at him and he was all alone, too < / 3
Maru is such a gossiper lol. And the bit about Junno was inspired from KT's real fight, the one where Junno started picking up the thrown hangers afterwards and was yelled at to stop; he's so adoarable XDD
I'm happy that you liked it~ ;D
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Date: 2011-02-19 07:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-19 08:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-19 09:41 pm (UTC)and you're the first person to dedicate me a fic/possibly anything at all ♥___♥Average at best, but okay to talk to; he has a funny looking nose but a kind face. Nakamaru's the only member who he doesn't want to knock out on a regular basis.
"You're not our boss, Kamenashi," is what he gets instead. Koki couldn't agree more.
Koki thinks he may have just realized why Kamenashi was able to pass the auditions on the first round.
Nakamaru, who has been silent throughout, leaves soon after. His silence is perhaps more cutting than any of their words.
With a solemn, "I though you were on of us," Koki does just that.
Kame is curled up on the couch, his legs pulled up and his face hidden behind his knobby knees.
The idea that he's been forcing a one-sided friendship on Kame both terrifies and embarrasses him.
smiles sourly when Kame bursts out a string of excuses. No one buys them.
he figures he's just another work friend, too- using his usual onomatopoeias and demented hand gestures << rotfl. :D ♥
Nakamaru invites him to a nearby ramen shop but Koki declines; Nakamaru would make him pay for it, anyway.
"You're not going to delete it this time, are you?" Koki doesn't care that the bitterness leaks into his voice. There's no point in hiding now that Kame's read him like an open book.
"I can't fall asleep" at half past one, just to piss him off; he remembers falling off his bed in surprise when his phone vibrated with a message just a few minutes later: try drinking a glass of milk :D :D :D it always works for me~ :D
idek if this is trueKame is still Kame, only with a bigger, brighter shell.
He looks as if he's drowning. "I have to be," he says slowly. "KAT-TUN needs him."
A body that, despite being supported solely by Koki's own, feels like nothing, has no significant weight at all.
like a furry little ferret digging into its nest. (omg i love ferrets ♥)
Only things are never simple with Kame, Koki thinks as his heart thuds. That smile has always been his weakness.
Underneath the table, Kame squeezes his hand back and Koki smiles into his drink.
(And then snorts when he sees Maru watching them suspiciously.)
The best part, though, is having Kame all to himself. Kame, who's overjoyed laughter and wonder echoes the little Kamenashi of the past. Koki loves that Kame will always be a child at heart.
And Koki's heart falls, just a little.
Koki leans against Kame because he finds comfort and support in his thin frame; he jokes around and indulges Kame's odd whiles because he adores the smile Kame gifts him afterwards; he touches Kame more than the others -more than neccessary- because it's Kame and Kame never flinches and always touches back.
"You were really loud, is all."
"Can I sit in the front?" he asks the driver instead and spends the entire drive back home peeking glances of Kame's pouting face from the rear-view mirror.
Nevermind that he's grinning like a lovestruck fool.
knows with a fierce certainty that if Kame was on his feet at the moment, he'd be stomping all over the place. Koki watches Kame laugh under the sun and is reminded of the stubborn little boy who had an ugly laugh and an ugly face. Who was even ugly when he cried. That boy is still there now, only he's gorgeous. And in some ways, always has been.
An angelic smile and a devilish charm, Koki had known it all along.
This kid was his to fall for.
It's a home run from there on out.
just some of my most fav parts, the ones that really broke me into a million pieces all over again. and again...and again...;_________;
i think i can call myself your no. 1 fan rn, kthx.also, ♥ u big time.
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Date: 2011-02-20 02:27 am (UTC)I regret so much not including a section about Kame and his onamatopoeias and hand gestures in my Kame Love post :(( and that's one of his cutest traits, too :(( so now I will always mention in it in fics to relieve my guilt.
I saw a man smuggling a ferret into the skytrain a few days ago lol. it was snuggling in his jacket ♥
akjashdjk some you say? XDD I knew the sap would appeal to your sentimental soul lol ♥ and I blame you for this becoming so angsty at parts. THIS WAS MEANT TO BE WARM AND FLUFFY. I take no responsibility for those tears and broken pieces :|
you're my wan in a mirrion~ ;Dright back at ya, bb ♥! ^_~
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Date: 2011-02-19 10:38 pm (UTC)I loved reading the fic, they were all in character. It made me sad in some places but the ending put a smile on my face.
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Date: 2011-02-20 03:05 am (UTC)Hee~ realistic characterization is what I always try to aim for, so thank you very much for that :D ♥
I'm glad that the ending made up for the :( parts and made you smile ^____^
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Date: 2011-02-20 07:53 am (UTC)SARA WRITE MORE.
KAMENO?
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Date: 2011-02-20 07:58 am (UTC)j/k I ♥ you
AND KAMEDA ;D
my k_x fic is never going to be written orz(no subject)
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From:Re: Fic: Home Run (Kokame, PG)
Date: 2011-02-20 05:52 pm (UTC)Re: Fic: Home Run (Kokame, PG)
Date: 2011-02-21 03:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-20 05:55 pm (UTC)A super awesome super fantastic super adorable kokame fic right when I'm craving for it so badly.
*___________________________________* ♥
I love reading this so much, every minute of it. I was dreading when I watch the navigation bar at the right was getting closer and closer to the middle. I never want this fic to end XD I want to read it forever and ever and get lost in this fic's universe ♥
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS SO MUCH ♥♥♥
LOVE *dies*
♥
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Date: 2011-02-21 03:40 am (UTC)So happy this could satisfy your KoKame fic craving :D :D
ashjhkasjlaks that's so sweet of you to say. I'm really touched that you enjoyed it so much ♥
really, your comment has made me so happy. Thank you ♥
spamming you with more fic now
Date: 2011-02-21 12:41 pm (UTC)very well written... really enjoyed it!
Re: spamming you with more fic now
Date: 2011-02-22 04:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-21 10:13 pm (UTC)That said, i wanted to let you know that i decided to give this fic a try (despite the tendencies i just described) and , lo and behold, i do not regret it :)
I find your writing style is very nice to read (you have a gentle pace, i think /bad at reviews) and just...well, this was all very cute, but not stupid-cute, and very in character (which is VERY IMPORTANT) and had a nice feeling to it, even when it got angst because kame, well, his life is hard.
This is all to say: omg you made me read Kokame, and i liked it :) ♥
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Date: 2011-02-22 04:13 am (UTC)dskjhakjs I'm so surprised you read this, you hardcore akame shipper ♥ and I'm even happier that it wasn't horrible for you ;__; that means a lot, really ♥ I avoid having OTPs in RPF and will throw Kame at anyone
Kame deserves all the love there isbut I know how loyal you are to your ship, so thank you for giving this a try *glomps* and your review is lovely, so no worries. I'm very happy that you found them IC ^_____^vKoKame just needs more fic. You would so jump ship if we had epic kokame fics in fandom
or it would at least have a competitive force in you akame heart;D(no subject)
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Date: 2011-02-25 05:58 pm (UTC)I'm not a KoKame shipper, but this-- this was beyond amazing. I'm in love. ♥_♥
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Date: 2011-02-26 04:32 am (UTC)KT fandom needs more KoKame fics because this ship really is one of the sweetest out there. Hopefully more KoKame writers will pop up soon, but until then, I'll try my best to pimp this pairing~ ;) I'm super glad you liked this despite not being a KoKame shipper. ♥
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Date: 2011-03-21 01:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-21 02:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-21 03:13 pm (UTC)The second part was so heartbreaking T-T
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Date: 2011-03-30 02:36 am (UTC)I'm glad you enjoyed this :) ♥
and sorry for the late reply orzno subject
Date: 2011-04-03 11:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-04 01:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-23 06:10 pm (UTC)Thank you for this. I needed some good Kokame.
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Date: 2011-04-24 01:45 am (UTC)not like he does nowadaysbecause he, along with the rest of KT, were pretty visibly annoyed at Kame during that period so, yeah. I couldn't write him any other way. ;)Thank you so much for your lovely comment! ♥
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Date: 2011-08-15 10:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-18 05:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-20 04:08 am (UTC)i'm just going to make a list.
1. kame's infectious happiness is his selling point and koki recognizes it
2. koki being the BIG DOG in the group at the beginning. i love that. i love koki's ~status~
3. YOUR KAT-TUN FIGHTS. every well-characterized kat-tun ought to, but i like that your fighting was boyish and young and irritated and realistic, and not like...shoujo manga melodrama status.
4. ohhh the entire phone number section. poor koki, and his insecurity. gaahhh.
5. how simultaneously flitting and stable this version of kame is. i REALLY like your kame.
6. kame making innuendos and then laughing at himself. hah.
this is ♥
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Date: 2011-09-21 11:38 pm (UTC)3. every well-characterized kat-tun ought to -> YES. there may be no more fist-fights over spilled cream, but there will always be spats and bickering ♥
5. ;__; ♥ idk, he's always so flirtatious and whimsical in his interviews so I always try to incorporate that side of him, esp since it's often ignored.
6. he so totally would *pats Lamenashi* XD
Thank you so much for leaving such a thoughtful comment ;o; ♥! And I have yet to post these, but the amazingly talented steph_mendes made some gorgeous fanart for this fic:
http://stephmendes.deviantart.com/art/Home-Run-2-204943318
http://stephmendes.deviantart.com/art/Home-Run-3-211481359
http://stephmendes.deviantart.com/art/Home-Run-4-211482392
http://stephmendes.deviantart.com/art/Home-Run-5-204028051
;D
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Date: 2012-01-06 03:35 pm (UTC)This is the first Kokame fic I've read ever since I started to like the pairing.
This is just AWESOME!
Thanks so much!♥
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Date: 2012-01-10 12:32 am (UTC)Knowing that you enjoyed reading this made my day so thank you for letting me know! ♥