Oh. My. God. I don't think my heart can take all this sweetness. It's just too much! But at the same time, I totally want more. :) It's a rare thing for a fic to make me want to squeal in a very shrill voice but I seriously had to control myself when reading this!
I think the little spelling/grammar stuff has already been pointed out for the most part but I did find this: "The small fingers retracted into the barrel in an instant, like the turtle Junno had scene last year when his father had taken him to the zoo. " Just a little thing, "scene" should be "seen". ^^
It's super hard to pick a favorite part but I'm just going to go with the parts that made my insides either do a happy dance or weep from over fluffage.
"His school house friends weren't really his friends, either. The only games they played with Junno involved Junno sneaking into their teacher's room and reaching for the cookie jar on top of the bookshelf because he was the tallest. Beanstalk Junno, they'd call him, munching on the cookies and then running off to play without him." Ahhh, my heart. Poor Junno ;_____;
"He wouldn't have to play anymore, though, because he had made friend. A real friend. Someone who liked him for more than just cookies and apples. It was a special sort of happiness." <33333333333333333
""Kazuya. Say my name again, Kazuya," Junno called to him and Kazuya swore, seeing his reflection steadily darken with colour. "Shut up!" "Kazuya." "Shut up! I won't say it." He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists at his sides, battling the syllables that were climbing to escape and keeping them locked up in his throat. He heard footsteps behind him. "Kazuya." Against his better judgement, he opened his eyes just a crack to get a peek and - - the lock broke open. "Junnosuke," he said at last, his fingers unclenching and his entire body coming undone. "Junno." ^ THIS. I just wanted to hug the crap out of my laptop. It was beautiful. *___*
"He ordered Junno to keep quiet while he plucked bits of grass and leaves out of his hair again. In the ensuing silence, Junno's smile was like a blaring siren, obnoxious and louder than he had ever seen before. He wanted to freeze it like that forever." ...*is dead from happiness*
I'm sorry my comments seem pretty incoherent but simply put it's gotta be one of my favorite fics ever! Beautifully written. I think it's an incredible thing that through a story you're able to touch another person's heart and make them want to cry with happiness and truly care for the characters. I hope to do that someday! Lovely, lovely, lovely.
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Date: 2012-01-03 05:26 pm (UTC)I think the little spelling/grammar stuff has already been pointed out for the most part but I did find this: "The small fingers retracted into the barrel in an instant, like the turtle Junno had scene last year when his father had taken him to the zoo. " Just a little thing, "scene" should be "seen". ^^
It's super hard to pick a favorite part but I'm just going to go with the parts that made my insides either do a happy dance or weep from over fluffage.
"His school house friends weren't really his friends, either. The only games they played with Junno involved Junno sneaking into their teacher's room and reaching for the cookie jar on top of the bookshelf because he was the tallest. Beanstalk Junno, they'd call him, munching on the cookies and then running off to play without him." Ahhh, my heart. Poor Junno ;_____;
"He wouldn't have to play anymore, though, because he had made friend. A real friend. Someone who liked him for more than just cookies and apples.
It was a special sort of happiness." <33333333333333333
""Kazuya. Say my name again, Kazuya," Junno called to him and Kazuya swore, seeing his reflection steadily darken with colour.
"Shut up!"
"Kazuya."
"Shut up! I won't say it." He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists at his sides, battling the syllables that were climbing to escape and keeping them locked up in his throat. He heard footsteps behind him.
"Kazuya."
Against his better judgement, he opened his eyes just a crack to get a peek and -
- the lock broke open.
"Junnosuke," he said at last, his fingers unclenching and his entire body coming undone. "Junno."
^ THIS. I just wanted to hug the crap out of my laptop. It was beautiful. *___*
"He ordered Junno to keep quiet while he plucked bits of grass and leaves out of his hair again. In the ensuing silence, Junno's smile was like a blaring siren, obnoxious and louder than he had ever seen before. He wanted to freeze it like that forever." ...*is dead from happiness*
I'm sorry my comments seem pretty incoherent but simply put it's gotta be one of my favorite fics ever! Beautifully written. I think it's an incredible thing that through a story you're able to touch another person's heart and make them want to cry with happiness and truly care for the characters. I hope to do that someday! Lovely, lovely, lovely.
/bookmarks :D